Just Curious...

Are my kids the only ones that do this?

I find these little piles everywhere around the house. I cannot keep socks on their feet!

Just a Bend in the Road

I'm so grateful I was able to go to Utah for my grandmother's funeral. Funerals are hard because they're draining on every level: emotionally, physically, socially, spiritually. But, they are also so good because it gives you a chance to remember, honor, and say goodbye. They make you grateful. Grateful for the influence this person had on your life, the love you share that doesn't end with death, and grateful that you know death is not the end.

Nana's funeral was on Friday, April 10th. One of the speakers at her funeral mentioned that she was being laid to rest the same day that the Savior was laid in His tomb. It was a sweet reminder to have her funeral at Easter time - to remember that because of Christ and His resurrection, we will see her again.

It was such a nice funeral. There were so many people that came to share how they had loved her and remembered her. The words that were spoken were so nice to hear. I was able to share some memories of her along with a couple of my cousins. I loved hearing my dad and my Aunt Diane talk about her and remember her. I love that funerals focus only on the good and the positive that people have lived. My dad shared a poem about how death is just a bend in the road of life - she's just gone around the bend and we can't see her for now.

It was so good to be there. To be with family. To hear how peacefully she went and that my Aunt Diane was holding her hand when she did. To be able to hug my dad when he was so sad to have lost his sweet mother. I think one of the things that touched me the most was at the cemetery, when the pallbearers carried her casket to the grave site. I watched these tall men, who all loved her, carry her so carefully, and then they each removed their boutonnieres and gently laid them on top of her casket. It was such a tender moment and it brought tears to my eyes.

At the end of this Easter season, I am so grateful for family, for love, for the gospel, and most especially, for my Savior.

Easter Tails...er Tales

The girls and I got back Saturday night from Utah. The funeral was beautiful and I'm really grateful I was able to be there. I will do a post about it when I get the rest of the pictures from my mom's camera.
We got home just in time for Easter. I knew we wouldn't have much time Saturday night to dye eggs, and that we probably wouldn't have much energy to anyway, so we dyed eggs Wednesday night before we left for Utah. Katie LOVED it, and threw a fit when it was time to quit and go to bed. She kept saying, "No! I want my eggies!" Olivia was already tired, so she barley lasted through one egg and then had to be put to bed. So, here's Olivia's brief appearance:

And here's Katie:

It's magic! They go in white, and come out colored!

I set out the Easter baskets Saturday night so we'd be all ready to go in the morning. Katie usually comes straight into our room in the morning, so I thought we'd be with her when she saw her basket. I guess I was wrong. Maybe she gets up and does a lap around the house before she comes in and wakes us up, because Easter morning, she came into our bedroom wanting us to open her sister's Easter present for her so she could play with it! She also had the tell-tale marks of chocolate on her chin. Oops. When we went out to the living room, I found this:

Chocolate on the chin explained.

Good thing I got a picture of it all looking pretty the night before. ha ha.

The girls looked so pretty in their Easter dresses. I was a proud mama and kind of turned into the mamarazzi after church! The only way I could actually get them in the same picture together was to set them on the couch with some Easter candy though.

The Easter dresses have since been dowsed in Shout and are awaiting a thorough cleaning. Dang chocolate. It works great as a bribe to hold still though. And if you think I'm a terrible mom for letting my girls eat candy, please keep it to yourself!

The Easter egg hunt was really fun. Katie totally got into it, and Olivia totally got into following Katie around. I had wanted to do it out in the backyard since we have one now, but in typical Seattle fashion, it poured rain almost all day, so we kept it inside.

The girls with their handsome daddy. Can you read the thoughts of Livs and Michael here? If you can't, they're thinking, "We're humoring you and all your crazy picture taking ways because we love you." Yep, pretty sure that's what those facial expressions mean. Katie doesn't care, because she finally got her "eggies" back and wants to play with them.

She sure loves those eggies. (Olivia finally gave out on me!)

As I was making dinner, I looked out the window at the trees across the street from our house. They grow in the back of a parking lot and a lot of the branches hang over the fence. They are full of pink blossoms this time of year, and I thought a few branches would look pretty as the centerpiece on the table. I told Michael that I wanted to go grab a few branches, and he was convinced that I was going to get busted. I said, "Oh, no one's going to care. It's just a few branches." But, he thought someone would see me and come out and start screaming at me for it. It made me a little paranoid, but I decided to do it anyway. I ran out in the rain and grabbed a few blossom branches. Thanks to Mike, I kept expecting to get yelled at, but no one did thank goodness, and I made it back inside without getting arrested! ha ha. And I was right, it did look pretty as the centerpiece. So I guess it was worth being a "rebel" ;)

Katie liked it too.

We hope everyone had a wonderful Easter! I love this time of year.

Lucille Vivian Spencer McLelland

Nana is what we always called her though. On Saturday evening, she passed away and we're all thinking about her and missing her.

Nana was the perfect hostess and she always made us feel welcome when we went to visit. She always offered a drink and a snack and what little kid doesn't always want a drink and a snack? I always looked forward to dinners at Nana's house. She was such a fabulous cook. And it was fun to raid her cookie jar after dinner. She had a cool cookie jar that looked like a house, and it was fun to look at while you tried to be stealth about taking off and replacing the lid. ;)

I was fascinated by her costume jewelery drawer and loved to open it and look at all the "emeralds" "diamonds" and "sapphires". I'm grateful I inherited that amazing collection for my girls to play with when they dress up. It will always remind me of her and being at her house. Her closet was also fun with a pair of shoes to match every outfit. Let's just say dress-up was never dull at Nana's. Remembering all of this makes me think I must have been a very snoopy child going through drawers and closets and jars and all. Oh well.

There were so many great places to play at Nana's. She always planted beautiful flowers and took good care of her yard. The backyard had a tall tree and Grandpa Art had built a swing in the tree. How we loved that swing. I must have spent hours in it over the span of my childhood.

We also loved to play house in their 5th-wheel trailer that was parked in front of their house. Nana and Papa Art used to go down to Arizona for the winter and they traveled a lot in their 5th-wheel. When they were home, it made for the perfect place to play.

Nana was always so generous with her gifts. She wanted to make sure she got us something we would like and I have many treasures that remind me of her like personalized story books, music boxes, and dolls. She came to every important event in our lives: birthday parties, music and dance recitals, baptisms, performances, and graduations. In the baby book my mom kept for me, she had everyone at my 2nd birthday party write in my book. Nana wrote, To our dear little "Miss Personality" May you always be as happy as you are today, as sweet and charming and as dearly loved. Love Ya! Nana

I loved Nana's laugh. She had a big smile and an infectious laugh. She always called me "Miss Personality" and often signed my birthday cards with "I love you dearly."

She was fun and active long after people her same age had stopped going and sat down on the side lines. She was an excellent golfer and won prizes in golf tournaments. She really played with us and got into it. These are some of my all time favorite pictures of her because they shows how fun she was.All through my childhood and into my adulthood Nana always drove a big Cadillac of one variety or another. I loved riding in them because they were so roomy and the seats were so comfortable. One of the best memories I have of riding in the Cadillac was when Nana and Grandpa invited me to travel to California with them. I was so excited and felt so special. We drove in the maroon Cadillac they had at the time and made stops along the way. I remember stopping in Las Vegas and eating at the "Circus Circus" buffet with them.

Nana had some fun traditions for us each year. In October, they had a time-share condo at Snowbird ski resort and we looked forward to that every year. We'd spend the weekend at the condo and celebrate my dad's birthday. There was always good food, games, and gorgeous scenery from the window. Nana also made sure that we got tickets to "Breakfast With Santa" at ZCMI when we were little and every December, we'd look forward to that with her too.

I've been thinking about her a lot lately. She hadn't been doing too well for a while and it was sad and hard to watch her slowly become more frail and distant. She started to lose her memory, but every time we came to visit, she always had a big smile for us and loved to watch Katie and Olivia play. The girls and I are flying to Utah for her funeral this week and I'm grateful I'll be able to go and honor her memory. She was wonderful and I'm going to miss her. I love you dearly my sweet Nana.

Looking Back

As I have packed up all of our belongings and emptied out our apartment, I've been a little sentimental. Not that I'm not thrilled to be moving on to a bigger, better place, but as I've watched each room empty out until it echoes, I can't help remembering all the memories we've made in them.

This was our first home together as newlyweds. I still remember that we had ordered our furniture, but it wasn't coming for about a month or so. So, we bought an air mattress for our bed. And then it became the couch too. I remember pushing it up against the wall and folding it in half so that we could sit on half of it, and lean back on half of it while we ate dinner (no table or chairs) and watched all 10 seasons of Friends together.

This was where I told Mike we were expecting our first baby. I wrapped a baby onesie that I had been saving up in a box as a present and let him open it when he got home from work. He looked at me and exclaimed "Are you serious?" He was so excited to be a daddy.

I also told him we were expecting our second baby here - only four months after Katie was born! I took the test, and he came in and we both stared down at the positive sign on the counter and then looked at each other with wide eyes. "We are crazy," I said to him. And then we laughed. And I was right - nine months later, we were crazy in love with our chubby little Livs.

This is where we have laughed together, and where we have cried together. I still remember being in bed after turning the lights out the night Michael told me he wouldn't be there when Katie was born because he had been deployed to the Middle East. It was the only time up to now that I have seen him sob.

I have brought two newborns home to this apartment. I walked the floors at night, in the dark, until I knew every turn and creak in the floor by heart. When Katie was born, my mother-in-law was there, and right after she was born, my mom came. We spent the next 6 days together - just the three of us- as my mom helped me learn how to become a mother. That was the time when I felt closest to my mother, and finally appreciated her to the fullest after becoming a mother myself. Then, my mother-in-law came back, and then, both my mothers had to leave. I remember coming home all alone for the first time with my brand new daughter after dropping my mom off at the airport. She fell asleep, and I heated up some lasagna my mom had left for me. It was so quiet, and I felt so alone. This apartment has sheltered me during some very dark days in my life, as well as some of the happiest I have ever known.

So, even though I am excited to leave, I'm sad too. My babies have taken their first steps here, celebrated first birthdays here - oh, there have been so many firsts. So many ups and downs. But, this house has been a home and I love it for that. I've stood in its empty rooms and looked around with all of these memories and so many more going through my mind.

But, Michael said to me, "The memories aren't here. We're the memories. We'll keep making them." And it's true. We've made so many memories here, but there are so many left to come. So, here's to looking back, and then, looking forward. My heart is full.